Public Works Finally Un-Jams Faulty PR Machine full of old, but still-yet-reported, news.

In an error they’re blaming on a software glitch, Public Works has discovered an enormous backlog of undelivered press releases stuck inside their CINTEXT AF710 AI-Assisted PR machine. At least 12 months of the unnecessarily clever press bulletins that Public Works could have been promoting themselves with have been uncovered since the jam was cleared.

Here’s a summary of the news the agency found inside the machine:

#1

The hiring of the inimitable Josh Grant as the team’s newest account lead. Josh comes to PW with years of exceptional client service experience at Little & Company, MONO, Target, and more. Not only that, but he’s got serious rock ‘n’ roll vocal chops to boot. The agency could not be happier to have this actual rock star aboard.

#2

Public Works welcomes another star to its roster (five, actually), with school supply heavyweight, Mead Five Star® as a new client! The legendary Mead Five Star® name is synonymous with high-quality notebooks and study supplies, and production on a multi-channel back-to-school campaign has already begun!

#3

It’s not just school supplies driving new business at PW—the agency also added ACCO Brands to their ever-growing roster. One of the biggest names in office supplies, ACCO Brands brings a wealth of exciting new opportunities to create breakthrough work with top-tier brands like Swingline, Quartet, and TruSens. Look for new work coming soon.

#4

Public Works acquires new snacks in break room! And not the cheap stuff. Gardettos. The good kind of Mixed Nuts. Name brand soda in the adorable little cans. FUDGE STRIPES. A wide variety of Bubly and other sparkling waters. There also appears to be a salad in the agency refrigerator that is up for grabs, but that might just left over from an employee’s lunch.

#5

Senior Copywriter Casey Nelson’s cat underwent successful leg surgery and back to being a typical cat–knocking over coffee cups and uninvitedly walking through Zoom calls right in the middle of important presentations.

#6

Public Works teams up with the Wild to tell the Minnesota hockey story. In a 3-part documentary series called Home Ice Advantage, The Wild, SSQTCH Creative and Public Works tell the story of community-based model in Minnesota and what makes the game so special in the State of Hockey. The show aired on Bally’s Sports North.

The agency believes this is all the unreported news that was stuck in its PR machine, but since it was also out of toner, there still could be more news coming.